Septiplier One Shot - House Of Horrors

'Finally!' Mark thought as he hurriedly pulled on some trousers while chewing on a slice of toast. Today was Friday, aka 'date day' for him and Jack, and he was super excited because Jack had planned a surprise for this particular late September date. He allowed his mind to run wild as he swallowed his food and replaced it with the fob of his car keys, thinking about all the amazing and fun things jack could have in store for him. He'd never admit it, but he absolutely loved being spoiled rotten by his little Irish loudmouth. Jack certainly knew how to treat him in all the right ways.
As he quickly slid on his shoes and grabbed a jacket, he gave himself one more look over in the mirror opposite his front door, fixed a few wayward hairs atop his glorious floof and then bounced out of the door, almost knocking one of his neighbours out in the process.
Mark didn't even turn around as he shouted his apology over his shoulder, too preoccupied with dashing to his car to see who it was. That was probably for the best, as Jack's plan would have been ruined if Mark had recognised the conniving little Brit with the purple streak in her hair.
"Septic potato? Septic potato? Come in, septic potato!" Minx whispered into her phone, still unsure if Mark could hear her.
"This is septic potato!" A very thickly accented voice echoed down the line,
"Is markiboob in position?"
"Just got into his car. Nearly knocked me off my feet!" Minx exclaimed, feeling safe to talk normally now that she could see Mark pulling out of the apartment car park.
"What!? Did he see you!?" The Irish man squawked, flooding with worry.
"Don't worry," minx giggled, walking down the steps to the car park where Mark had been not a minute before,
"He was way too excited to notice who I was. He didn't even stop or turn around."
"Agh sorry minx!" Jack mumbled. It was obvious he was face-palming through the phone from how muffled it was.
"It's ok," minx laughed, getting into a car and smiling at her red-eyed driver. She put her phone on the dashboard of the car and put it on speaker so that her partner in crime could hear the Irishman speak.
"We all know that he can be clumsy and oblivious, especially when he's excited."
"A fair point," Jack mumbled thoughtfully through the line.
"I feel bad for doing this to him."
"Can't back out now!" The red eyed girl exclaimed.
"You got us into this so you're gonna see it through!"
"Oh, hey krism!" Jack laughed, unaware that she was listening until now.
"You have a point there! Make sure to follow him closely to make sure he gets here safe, will ya?"
"Yes sir, Mr septic potato sir!" Krism laughed, starting the engine.
"See you in a few, Sean." Minx giggled, hanging up before jack could say goodbye.
On the other end, Jack had an evil grin spread across his face. Krism was right, there was no backing out now. He was actually looking forward to this, in a twisted way. He knew that Mark would be running for his life and screaming in terror before too long, and it filled him with utter glee.
"See you soon, markimoo~"

~~~

Mark had gotten stuck in traffic immediately after pulling out of the car park. Great. This made him grumble angrily and grip his steering wheel tightly for a little while, but he took this as his chance to enter the coordinates that Jack had given him into his satnav. The place seemed to be quite a far distance away, which was unusual for Jack as he tended to take him places in the town they lived in.
This of cause peaked Mark's interest and added more excitement to the mix. Mark knew every restaurant and place in town like the back of his hand, so the prospect of going somewhere new excited him greatly. Jack must have been planning something very special for him! If only he knew.
The traffic finally moved and he pulled off quickly, leaning forward in his seat like he was ready to pounce on the road. He drove the limit to try and catch up on the lost time and luckily didn't run into anymore traffic on his journey. He was relieved when he realised he was no longer going to be late and relaxed greatly, slowing down into a comfortable speed.
Three quarters through his 40 minute journey, he noticed a car behind him was getting uncomfortably close to his. It made him a little annoyed, and he decided to break suddenly to get them to back off. As if the driver of the vehicle read his mind however, they backed off substantially. Their driving was all together a very sporadic and crazy driver, so Mark thought it best to change lanes and avoid them all together. That's when the satnavs monotone voice piped up, telling Mark to turn at the next intersection. Luckily, the other car didn't follow when he did.
It didn't matter anyway; he was here.

~~~

Mark saw that the location Jack gave him was actually a very large car park just off the intersection he had pulled off of. This left Mark thoroughly dumbfounded; why would Jack set a date up at a car park? He felt rather disappointed. There were a lot of cars there however, he had to admit. This eventually lead Mark to realise that the actual date location was beyond the car park, and that this was just a place for patrons to leave their cars.
He hummed to himself contently as he locked his car and began to walk forward. It wasn't long before he found a sign with an arrow that pointed dead ahead of him. So he was going the right way! This relieved him as he hadn't seen Jack yet and he was supposed to meet him there, so it gave him confirmation that he was on the right track. That's when he spotted a familiar car just up ahead of him. As he got closer, he noticed an all too familiar Irishman leant up against the car with his back to him. This gave Mark an evil idea.
He snuck up behind his lover slowly, making sure not to make a noise as he tiptoed across the loose gravel floor. When Jack was within arms reach, Mark slowly snaked his arms around his torso, pulling him into a gentle hug from behind. Jack stiffened up immediately, tense at the unfamiliar contact. That was of cause until Mark whispered a gentle greeting in his ear and kissed the sweet spot on the irishman's neck softly. Jack then visibly relaxed, bringing his hands up to Mark's and leaning into the taller mans strong frame, sighing in relief when he knew he was safe.
Jack turned slowly in his arms, eventually facing Mark. He placed a  loving kiss on his lips and at that moment Mark swore he'd never been more in love in his entire life. The way Jack's eyes lulled slightly, as if he were in utter bliss by merely being in Mark's presence made his heart flood with emotion.
'One day.' Mark thought contently, staring lovingly at Jack. 'One day I'm going to marry this man.' That was then followed by 'wait, what?' And 'holy shit I've never thought about that'. This caused Mark's entire demeanour to change instantly, which did not go unnoticed by Jack.
"Mark? What's wrong, love?" The Irishman said gently, looking worried.
"W-oh nothing!" Mark exclaimed suddenly,
"Just thinking, I guess."
"Thinking about what?" Jack asked, absentmindedly rubbing Mark's toned chest.
"Well..." Mark hesitated, drawing Jack's attention back immediately.
"You know what? This isn't a conversation for here and now."
"Huh?" Jack was obviously worried.
"Don't worry, my little Irish beauty! Nothing bad. I was just thinking about the future."
"T-the future?" Jack asked, a deep pink running across his cheeks.
"It's too much of a serious topic to be talking about on a date." Mark hummed, burying his face into Jack's shoulder.
"We can have fun here, go home and then I'll explain EVERYTHING to you. If you want me to of cause."
"Of cause, Mark." Jack sighed contently, nipping at his lovers neck to get him to lift his head.
"I'd love to hear it all."
Just then, as if on cue, a very harsh gust of wind blew past them, causing them both to shiver violently. This spurred Jack to ask Mark if he was ready to see his surprise, to which Mark let go of Jack and started jumping around excitedly. He'd take that as a yes. Jack then pulled his scarf from around his neck and walked towards Mark, which surprised the taller man greatly.
"Oh you kinky thing, you!" Mark giggled, leaning down so Jack could get the scarf around his eyes.
He didn't have to see Jack's face to know that he was blushing. He could hear it in his voice.
"Shut up!" He mumbled, tapping Mark on the ass gently.
Nothing more was said, but Mark did jump in surprise at the assault and grumbled a little in return. He then heard a cute little laugh and felt Jack's hand slide into his, their fingers automatically intertwining, and they began to move forward.
'Finally!' Mark thought. 'Can't wait for my surprise!'

~~~

They'd been walking a while. At least 10 minutes...and Mark was bored. How did Jack expect him to stay blindfolded this entire time? He knew how hyper he got because they were the exact same in situations like this! He then suddenly felt jack let go of his hand and and immediately stopped dead in his tracks. He heard Jack walk behind him a few paces and then stopped at about 8 feet between them as best he could guess.
"Uhh Jack?" Mark asked with a nervous laugh. "Can I take the scarf off now?"
"Sure thing, sweetie." Jack said in a very sadistic voice.
Uh. Ok?
Mark slowly brought his gloved hands up to the scarf around his head. It smelled like Jack. It was gorgeous.
He slid the scarf over the top of his head and blinked a few times, getting his eyes used to the piercing daylight again. He couldn't see very well, but it looked like he was in the deep woods somewhere. Huh, weird. He fixed his glasses, which had been on under the scarf the entire time...and that's when he saw it. His heart stopped and he froze in terror.
No. No no. No please. God no, anything but this.
The two story Victorian looking wooden house was rotted to the core. The windows were cracked and filthy and the deck was broken. The dented and chipped front door was hanging off the frame by rusted latches and the entire thing stank of decay and neglect. The stereotypical haunted house deal. He swore he saw movement in one of the upstairs windows but he couldn't be sure...and that terrified him.
He turned on his heels and tried to run, but he had forgotten that Jack was behind him. Jack lunged at him and held him in place, refusing to let him retreat any further.
"JACK!" Mark screamed frantically, trying to get out of his death hold.
"JACK WHY!?"
"It's revenge, Mark." Jack said simply, still with that vile laugh in his voice.
"JACK PLEASE!" Mark begged, tears brimming in his eyes.
"After what you did to me, Mark. This is mercy."
"SEAN PLEASE!"
This took Jack by surprise. Mark only ever used his real name when it was serious. He still refused to let go of Mark, and his strength was beginning to give out. 'Gocha' Jack thought, an evil smile creeping across his face.
"SEAN PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!" Mark screamed.
"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?"
"Jesus Christ, Mark!" Jack exclaimed, barely being able to control his laughter.
"I'm not gonna kill you!"
"THIS IS MUCH WORSE THAN DEATH, SEAN!" Mark shrieked, drawing the attention of the attraction security guard.
"Is he ok?" The greying gentleman asked.
"Yea, he's fine." Jack said with a strain in his voice.
"He just hates haunted house tours."
Once the man was satisfied that there was no harm done, he retreated back into the house and continued with his tour.
That's when Mark's strength finally gave out and he collapses to his knees, sobbing into Jack's thigh. Jack quickly went bright red and moved Mark's head, just in case anyone saw and made a scene.
"Why Jack, why?" Mark asked repeatedly, standing up shakily and sniffing violently.
"I told you, Mark!" Jack exclaimed evilly.
"It's revenge! You broke me favourite mug so I'm gonna put you through your worst nightmare; a haunted house attraction."
"That's hardly fair!" Mark snapped, pulling away from Jack suddenly.
"Yes it is!" Jack declared in mock offence.
"That mug was given to me by me mam when I was first old enough to drink tea!"
"Still not fair!" Mark shouted like a toddler, crossing his arms and pouting dramatically.
"Ugh, fine." Jack sighed,
"You don't have to do the haunted house-"
"Oh thank god!" Mark exclaimed, walking swiftly the way they came.
"But!" Jack shouted suddenly, stopping Mark in his tracks.
"But what?" Mark mumbled. Afraid to ask.
"No sex for a week."
"What!?" Mark said in utter horror.
"That's even less fair that that thing!"
He pointed at the haunted house, as if for emphasis.
"Two weeks." Jack said nonchalantly, unamused by Mark's constant disagreement.
"What!?"
"A month."
"NO!"
"TWO months!"
"You can't do thi-"
THREE months."
"Ok! Ok I'll do the stupid hunted house thing!" Mark finally cried, defeated.
"That's what I thought." Jack said with an evil grin plastered on his face, making a mental note to high five minx and krism when he next saw them.

~~~

Mark hated the entire thing. He hated the jumpscares, he hated the creepy sounds, he hated the actors and their makeup and costumes, but he especially hated Jack laughing at him whenever he got scared. He was supposed to be the big macho strong man! The knight in shining armour! Not some babbling little crybaby who screamed at the slightest movement. He did admit however, that he hated the prospect of no sexy times with Jack for a long period of time a lot more than everything else happening right now.
They'd been in there for at least an hour and a half, and when the tour guide announced that it was nearly the end, he would be lying if he said he didn't jump for joy. 'Just one more room to go' he thought happily. It was a crappy looking optical illusion room that made it look like it had no floor, but instead a sheer drop. That was okay, Mark could deal with that. Heights wasn't really an issue with him anyway.
He walked to the end of the hall after the room and saw the light from the outside clawing it's way through the darkness around the front door. He turned to smile triumphantly at Jack, only to find he wasn't there. What? Where could that cheeky little Irishman have disappeared to now?
He begrudgingly walked back down the grim corridor and through the illusion room, where he found Jack looking terrified and clinging to the wall. His eyes were wide and he was pale as a sheet, obviously frozen with fear.
"Uhh Jack, you okay there buddy?" Mark asked, walking up and touching his arm gently.
"No." Was Jack's simple and strained answer.
Mark waited for more explanation, but it seemed he wouldn't be getting it soon, so he asked again.
"What's wrong, jack? Are you hurt?"
He was kind of frantic at this point, which spurred Jack to explain a little more.
"Heights."
"Heights?"
"Yea." Jack said sheepishly,
"I'm TERRIFIED of them."
"Oh."
"Oh!?"
"Here," Mark cooed, laughing at Jack's misfortune.
"Let me."
Mark then proceeded to sweep Jack off his feet, carrying him bridal style through the dreaded room. Jack buried his face in Mark's chest the entire time, and Mark couldn't decide weather to laugh hysterically or soothe his frantic lover. He went with a bit of both, which earned him vicious little glare from his little Irishman.
"It's ok Jack, we're out." Mark sang gently, carrying Jack over the threshold of the door.
Jack didn't say anything, obviously stropping. He instead opted to look away from Mark's face and out in front of them to try and hide his blush. Mark saw in and laughed lightly, deciding to carry Jack back to his car because he was in no fit state to walk. His legs were still like jelly.
Once they got back to the car, Mark saw two familiar faces leaning against a very familiar car.
"You might wanna re-take your driving test there, minx!" Mark laughed, walking up to her.
"It was krism driving, actually." Minx laughed, gesturing lazily to her wife, who mock glared at Mark.
They all burst out into a fit of giggles. All except Jack, which worried the women greatly.
"Is he ok?" Krism asked, trying to look at Jack's face.
He kept turning it away from her, and then eventually opted to bury it in Mark's chest so no one could see it.
"Yea, he's fine. He just had an encounter with a high place optical illusion."
"Oh damn, sorry Jack." Minx said, trying to stave off laughter.
Jack turned to look at her with vicious intent in his eyes.
"You knew."
"I knew." She confirmed, falling onto the car in a fit of laughter, soon joined by krism.
"You bitch!" Jack screamed, unable to stop the laugh from falling out of his mouth.
This left a very confused and very fatigued Mark stood there, still holding Jack, while everyone else laughed for no apparent reason.
"Um what?" Mark asked gently.
Then it clicked.
"YOU WERE IN ON THIS!" Mark howled, slipping Jack back onto his feet.
"We were." Minx and krism said in unison, still laughing.
"Jack asked us how to get back at you because of the broken mug incident." Krism explained,
"We told him your greatest fear...in return for him telling us his."
"So you set us both up?" Mark asked.
"Yup, pretty much."
"You dicks."
"Yep, we know."
"Remind me never to trust you again?" Jack half laughed, unlocking his car and sliding in, giving Mark a knowing look.
"Done deal." Krism said, opening her car and getting into the drivers seat.
Minx followed and krism started the engine, pulling off and waving goodbye as jack rolled his window down.
"Oi Fischbach!" Jack shouted over the sound of his radio,
"Get your ass back to the flat!"
"Oh and why would I do that?" Mark said in a mock stubbornness.
"Because I need to make today up to you~" Jack said with a wink.
Mark was gone. Already running full pelt towards his car, shouting something about 'he should think so too'. Jack laughed and pulled off onto the main road. It was just a race to get home now. This should be fun.